Ways to Resolve Discord: Part II

Ways to Resolve Discord: Part II

Are you a Tennessee resident or are you getting married in Tennessee and you want to save $60 on your Tennessee marriage license? With our notarized certificate following the completion of our four hour Tennessee Premarital Course, you can do just that for just $27.97! We here at D’Arienzo Psychology are excited to help you take this next step toward marital happiness and success, and want to help deepen your relationship with your future spouse. Keep reading for Part II of Dr. D’Arienzo’s tips and methods to resolve discord in your relationship:

Ways to Resolve Discord: Part II

Couples need to fight with the end in mind. So, what should the end in mind consist of? The end in mind should focus on resolving the issue and simultaneously ensuring your partner feels good during and after the conflict. Both partners must control their stubbornness. Couples should practice calming techniques, meaning they should pay attention to their heart rates. When we have a heart rate above 90 to 95 beats per minute, we are emotionally flooded and have difficulty being rational in arguments and are in a state of fight, flight, or freeze. When we are flooded, we should pause or take a time-out for 20 to 30 minutes from an argument and then resume discussion to resolve the conflict. When we are upset or furious, we shouldn’t dispute with our partner or discuss critical issues with them because we will unavoidably say or do something that we would later regret, just like we shouldn’t punish our kids when we are upset or angry. Most essential, if you need to take a break from a disagreement, do so, but return to the conflict as soon as possible. Keep an eye out for indicators of flooding, such as feeling overburdened, being unable to maintain composure during disagreements, desiring distance, and minor concerns growing into major ones. Take a break if you feel like you’re under water.

We have illustrated Safe Talking Techniques that have been adapted from Markman and Stanley in “Fighting for your Marriage”. These techniques enable each partner to speak without interruption:

1. Make use of a shared resource, such as a talking item (for example, a wedding ring or a photo of the family or the couple).

2. The item is alternately held by each individual, who likewise holds the floor, in turn.

3. The person listening then repeats back what they have heard and checks that it is correct.

4. The other person then takes hold of the talking item and speaks while their partner summaries.

Taking a premarital education course is vital for equipped couples to share a lifetime of marital bliss and happiness. D’Arienzo Psychology wants to help you prepare for your life together. Dr. Justin D’Arienzo is our Board-Certified Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert. Dr. D’Arienzo has serviced this course to couples since 2013. Hundreds of couples recommend our course and claim that it has helped set a solid foundation for marital success. Research suggests that couples who take a premarital preparation course gain an advantage over couples that do not take a premarital preparation course.

Dr. D’Arienzo wanted to develop a fully efficient, online, fully automated, fun premarital course that teaches couples how to work together. Dr. D’Arienzo has perfected all of our exercises and information to ensure that couples gain the knowledge they need.  He also offers this course to couples planning on tying the knot in Florida, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, Oklahoma, and Minnesota.

Do you want to lead a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime? Do you want to have fun and gain inside knowledge about marriage from a leading psychologist? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then our Tennessee Online Premarital Education Course is right for you! You can learn more about our Tennessee Online Premarital Preparation Course Here.