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Ways to Resolve Discord: Part III

Are you a Tennessee resident or are you getting married in Tennessee and you want to save $60 on your Tennessee marriage license? With our notarized certificate following the completion of our four hour Tennessee Premarital Course, you can do just that for just $27.97! We here at D’Arienzo Psychology are excited to help you take this next step toward marital happiness and success, and want to help deepen your relationship with your future spouse. Keep reading for Part III of Dr. D’Arienzo’s tips and methods to resolve discord in your relationship:

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Ways to Resolve Discord: Part III

Dr. Gottman has created a five-step technique to talk about a problem or significant issue that has to be resolved. Keep in mind that the objective is to better comprehend your partner’s perspective rather than to win the debate. When I work with couples, I want them to feel heard, understood, and appreciated for who they are as individuals. By taking the preceding steps, the problem frequently deescalates and the couple finds a solution. Couples that get along and don’t have conflict easily agree to disagree. Couples who have high conflict are threatened by disagreement. In using the five steps below, couples should work through each step together.

  1. Feelings: Share how you felt about the situation. Do not say why you felt that way. Avoid commenting on your partner’s feelings. Stay in your lane.

2. Factors: What is your “reality”? Pass the hat. Describe and at least somewhat substantiate your partner’s reality. Keep in mind that you shouldn’t feel threatened by their realities. Because we pay attention selectively during disagreement, couples often recall the same event differently.

3. Triggers: Share what experiences or memories you have had that might have escalated the interaction and the stories of why these are triggers for each of you. Own your own trigger. Don’t blame, criticize, or minimize your partner’s triggers.

4. Responsibility: Accept responsibility for your part in the altercation or occurrence. Defenselessness is the reverse of this. When we assume a little responsibility, our spouse feels less threatened.

5. Constructive Plans: Plan together one way that each of you can make it better next time. Now that you both have a better appreciation of where your partner is coming from, you have been heard, and you each have taken some of the responsibility for the regrettable incident, you are better able to find a resolution with your partner.

Taking a premarital education course is vital for equipped couples to share a lifetime of marital bliss and happiness. D’Arienzo Psychology wants to help you prepare for your life together. Dr. Justin D’Arienzo is our Board-Certified Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert. Dr. D’Arienzo has serviced this course to couples since 2013. Hundreds of couples recommend our course and claim that it has helped set a solid foundation for marital success. Research suggests that couples who take a premarital preparation course gain an advantage over couples that do not take a premarital preparation course.

Dr. D’Arienzo wanted to develop a fully efficient, online, fully automated, fun premarital course that teaches couples how to work together. Dr. D’Arienzo has perfected all of our exercises and information to ensure that couples gain the knowledge they need.  He also offers this course to couples planning on tying the knot in Florida, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, Oklahoma, and Minnesota.

Do you want to lead a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime? Do you want to have fun and gain inside knowledge about marriage from a leading psychologist? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then our Tennessee Online Premarital Education Course is right for you! You can learn more about our Tennessee Online Premarital Preparation Course Here.